On Writing: When Expectations Don’t Meet Reality
Current WIP: Dating & Disguises
Total Wordcount: 16,853
Version #: 14
When I first began writing Dating & Disguises (then it was called Love & Disguises), I thought I could write the entire novel in a year and submit it to one publisher and get a book deal (and maybe a movie deal too). That was nearly three years ago.
I live up among the stars, and I look at most things with rose-colored glasses. I am a dreamer, and my optimism and hope move me forward with everything I do. Even still, those expectations are a bit out of control and did not meet reality.
In October 2020, I finally began querying my manuscript. I received six rejections and six non-replies. Ultimately, I submitted my query letter and first three pages to The Query Shark (if you're a writer that hasn't already heard of her, you should), and based on her feedback, I have decided I am not ready for the querying process.
The original 'final' version went through 8 beta-readers (some of them multiple times), a professional manuscript review service by a published author, and was a 2+ year process to get to that place. It's safe to say it hurt to start again, and after three false starts (and a lot of frustrated tears), I am now on draft 14 and mid-rewrite with a total of 16,853 words so far. I hope to salvage as much of what I had written before, but it's early days, and I don't know yet what will work with these new plot changes.
The one publisher I thought I would submit to and get accepted is one of my rejections just for the record.
So, what have I learned?
1. Set small and realistic goals
Every writer needs goals to have something to work towards and have a clear endpoint. Otherwise, you're a hobbyist who will likely never finish anything and never be published (and that's okay, too).
Goals should not be about the whole manuscript in its entirety (unless you're close to completion). Instead, goals should be broken down into smaller pieces of the manuscript and following a loose process. An example: By the end of this month, I'll have five chapters written (approximately 20,000 words). Or three beta-readers will read the novel and provide feedback by July.
Reflect, revise, and reset as you go. And before you know it, you'll have achieved several smaller goals that lead you towards the LARGER goal of completing a manuscript and hopefully getting published.
2. Allow space within the process
If there is one thing I know for sure, it's that the writing process is not linear. Despite how much we want it to be or told it could be. The writing process is not a "process" at all. You know, in the traditional sense.
I (like so many others) am a structured and methodical person. I like processes. I like having a plan and executing on that plan. As much as I try to be like that in my writing, it always comes back to slap me across the face to tell me it's near impossible. Writing requires creativity, imagination, thought, and freedom— and none of those things exist in structure or method. Really, they don't.
I've learned to allow time and space for breath, thought, rework, notes, planning, discussion, false starts, tears, support from your writing squad, more tears, and trying out good (and bad) ideas, oh, and the actual writing. If you rush the process for the sake of a goal, what's the point? This list of things is where the fun is, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.
3. Use your writing squad for accountability, not social media
When I first started writing my novel, I posted chapters on my social media for my followers to read. It provided me instant feedback, motivation and gave me a creative buzz. However, when I got to Chapter 10, I found a plot hole. Chapter 4 became Chapter 1, and everything was mixed up and moved around. So I took it down, and I stopped sharing. I was not about to post the revisions and keep everyone up to speed on what was happening. The thought of that seemed exhausting. I soon felt like they thought I gave up and couldn't do it. And ultimately, I let those people down. Even though that seems ridiculous, it's what I felt. In addition to that, I had talked openly about my process and how easily everything was flowing, I felt embarrassed that it didn't "work out."
Another time, I was having a chat with a friend. She asked how my writing was going, I mentioned a new project I was working on, and she said, "but what happened to the psychological thriller meets romantic comedy idea you had?" Well, for starters, ideas come and go, and they shapeshift in many different directions because that's what it is to be a creative person. You have an idea, and that idea grows, and our interest in it shifts. I wondered at that moment how to explain it, and I realized I couldn't— so I just said, "oh yeah, I'm still working on that too." But again, I felt embarrassed that it appeared like I couldn't keep focused on one thing.
But, here's the deal— things change and shift, and as I said before, the writing process isn't linear. So, be mindful about what you're sharing on social media and what goals you're putting out there. It's not a great source of accountability because those people don't really know what's happening for you or even have a glimpse of how difficult it is to write a full novel (that is worth reading) and get published.
On the other hand, your writing squad can be your accountability coaches. They get it because they're living it. Depending on how often you meet, mention your goals to them and have them support you and guide you along the way. They can be your sounding board, the voice of reason, and cheerleaders. Save social media for the fun stuff and leave goals or progress out of it.
For me, my writing squad has gotten me through a lot of rough times, and I am a much better writer with them in my corner. If you don't already have one, I suggest finding one.
What are my latest goals?
I hoped to get published in 2020, that didn't happen. And I'd love to get published in 2021. But getting published is no longer the specific goal or target. For a few reasons— but mostly because the querying process alone can take a year, and it's a lot of work. Maybe even more work than the actual writing. Not to mention, I'm querying for an agent. Once I have representation, it's a whole new set of steps to get published.
So, my new goal is to complete this rewrite in full and as carefully, thoughtfully, and as slowly as it takes with a tentative deadline of July 2021 to do it. And I'll re-evaluate as I go.
My small and realistic goals are week by week and how many chapters I think I can complete in that time. I'll keep those specific details private to me, but know that I set intentions and goals for what I think I can do and what else I have going on each week.
Once I have my rewrite, I'll set new goals for the querying process because it's so much more than just "getting published."
I'm in it for the long game. xx